Christmas Day, 2005

We have thoroughly enjoyed being home for Christmas and having a more normal life, even if it is just for a few days. Leah has not had a fever since we have been here. I have given her Tylenol every eight or nine hours because she says her body hurts, but she has not been hot to the touch at all and has been running around and playing. She may not be quite the same Leah as she was before all of this started, but she is definitely better than when we brought her home after her chemotherapy a few weeks ago. That was much scarier because she just laid around and moaned and need constant attention. Now she giggles about things and bosses us all around; definitely more herself.

Santa came through for her this year and brought the Dora House she had been asking for. Betweeen Santa and the two grandmas Leah and Chloe have everything for that dollhouse that they make. They also got tons of other cool things from Santa and other people who dropped off gifts for us. I am not sure where all of these things will go yet. We opened Santa gifts this morning and then had Christmas at my parents' house. This evening Chris' parents came over and we opened more gifts.

Leah has not had much of an appetite. She was very excited to make pancakes this morning since that has been a weekly ritual for us, yet ate only a few bits of one pancake. We managed to get a cookie down her this afternoon, and finally this evening she ate some macaroni and cheese and a few other things. It seems there is always something to worry about, though. The vincristine she is on can cause constipation, and she has yet to really go to the bathroom since her CT scan on Wednesday. This is driving me crazy because I am giving her the Miralax from the hospital and Milk of Magnesia to counteract the Vincristine, and still she does not go. I will say that on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday she barely at anything at all. Friday alone she may have eaten 10 bites of food all day, so I doubt she is horribly constipated, but if she does not go by noon tomorrow I am going to have to call the hospital. I will be so depressed if we need to go back a day early to take care of a bathroom problem!

Tomorrow night Chris and I are tentatively planning on going out for supper. Our 8th anniversary is on the 27th, as is my birthday. I don't think either of us feel like celebrating, yet we have not had a moment to ourselves for quite some time. We are either trading off who stays in Denver or Iowa City, or dealing with two young children who both want attention because our lives have been turned upside down.

It is one month ago that we received Leah's diagnosis. I can still replay the visit to Dr. Sims' office on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in my mind, but I try not to do that too often. I am a chronic worrier yet I am working hard not to let myself think of all the what ifs that may or may not happen.

"So don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34