December 30, 2005

Tonight all of the Ristaus are at home in Denver. We were quite happily surprised that they discharged Leah today. She received the last two of her three drug chemotherapy treatment this morning. While we questioned the doctors about whether they felt we would be heading right back to the hospital again if she ran a fever, they insisted it was fine to go home and could find no reason to keep her there.

Leah and Chris spent a sleepless night at the hospital last night-at least it was sleepless for Chris. If you want rest, a hospital is the last place I would recommend. Leah had a meltdown during the night as well and insisted during this tantrum that she needed her mommy. One of the side effects of her chemotherapy was listed as increased irritability. I am not sure we can place all the blame for her crabbiness on chemotherapy, yet if I had as many drugs in my body as she does, I would be crabby, too. So, we are picking our battles and grinning and bearing many of her moods. We have heard "you're naughty, Tina," "For pete's sake, Chris," "I will poke you in the face," "get your stinkin' face out of mine," and many other teeth-gritting comments from her. When the parenting advice books are being written, they certainly do not have this situation in mind.

I enjoyed my night at home last night and when Chris called at 8:30 this morning he was appalled that I was still in bed. This is highly unusual for me, but I have had very few consecutive hours of sleep for I don't know how long, and since Chloe was still in bed, I figured I could take advantage of this. I managed a quick run on the treadmill this morning, and Chloe managed to empty an entire roll of toilet paper into the upstairs toilet while I was putting clean clothes away up there. Every time I saw her she insisted she was blowing her nose. It was only after the fifth time she told me this that I clued in to the fact that something was not quite right and investigated further.

Leah's appetite continues to be poor. Her diet today consisted of a few bites of oatmeal, 2 glasses of whole milk, 10 bites of macaroni and cheese, 5 bites of bread, 6 peanut butter M&M's and half a chicken nugget. I am anxious for the new medicine to start to work since it is difficult to come up with many different food options, prepare them, and then have them rejected.

My sister has ordered a wig for Leah that should arrive within a few weeks. It has been difficult to find a small wig for her, so we have had to do a bit of research to come up with something. I am doubtful that she will enjoy wearing it, but since she is requesting one, do want to find one for her. She is hair-fixated and has always spent a great deal of time twirling it around her fingers, so to have nothing to use as a comfort in this stressful situation will be difficult for her. Her hair has been shedding heavily for over a week now, and I am surprised she is not entirely bald already; there are bald patches, so I am sure baldness will happen soon.

We have had a good evening of watching Dora videos and reading books. Leah continues to feel well after her chemotherapy, and has not complained of any type of pain. Tonight when we were putting her to bed she was jumping up and down on her bed. Just seeing her do this was an instant heads-up to me since I cannot even remember the last time she wanted to jump around like that. It was definitely long before I took her to the doctor, and I wonder how long she was uncomfortable because of the mass in her abdomen, and unable to communicate to us what was wrong, except for in very subtle ways. These things are so obvious now, but were so easy to miss before.

As Leah pointed out earlier to us, there is only one day left in this year. She is looking forward to 2006 and being five, and we are looking forward to many happy, healthy days in the new year as well.