January 8, 2006

I can hardly believe that the weekend is over already. I worked at the library yesterday morning. Chris watched the girls at home and then he and his friend, Brian, did some chores around the house. Brian has called volunteering his services for a while now, so Chris took him up on his offer. Leah and Chloe also both loved Brian who has some kids of his own. Today Leah was still full of information about Brian and his family.

Leah has been more tired the past two days. However, even though she did have a nap yesterday and does tire out, she rode her bike outside for a while. We also got in a stroller ride up to see GG at the Sunset Home and she helped Grandma Kathy take her tree down. Her friend, Jaden, came to play, and that was the one time that you could really tell how tired she was. She also fell asleep with Chris in a chair watching TV by 7 PM.

Today she is even more tired. I am sure she is neutropenic. So, I called down to Iowa City and we are going down there for blood tomorrow. Normally we would go to Covenant in Waterloo for a blood draw, wait for the results and then find out if we needed to go to Iowa City. Since I am back at work I know they would not have the results to me until I was at work, and even last Thursday they mentioned that she would need blood by Monday. I am eliminating the finger poke so we can go right down to Iowa City and have her port accessed. It is not much comfort, but as many finger pokes and other dreaded procedures that I am able to eliminate, the better. We will have our labs done there, and I am sure that we will be giving the GCSF shot again. We have talked about this a bit with Leah and she gets a bit teary-eyed when we bring it up. I know they are painful. Esther, our neighbor, will come over and help us out for the first few times. Thank goodness we have so many friends and family members that have helped out and continue to volunteer to do so! There is no way we will ever be able to repay everyone for their kindnesses, but it is something we marvel about every day, and vow to do for others someday,
too.

Leah did manage to get to Grandma Kathy's again today and walked to the grocery store with my aunt and uncle, Carol and Mike. She had some specific requests: peanut butter M&Ms and Krismar chips (really they are just small circle tortilla chips, but she named them after the friend who brought them). Leah's appetite has really taken off. She seems to love yogurt right now. Today she had 3 containers of Trix yogurt, 3 cups of whole milk, quite a few tortilla chips (at various point during the day), two taco salads (meat, cheese, chips, and dressing-but no lettuce), macaroni and cheese....this is sooooo much better than fighting with her about food. She always has a request for things now and is ready to eat before I can bring it up. I am hoping she will gain some weight, so even if she has no appetite for a bit after her next treatment, she will not be losing ground.

Chloe is on her 3rd night without her pacifier. This is quite a feat because she is very obsessed by it. Her new bedtime problems have made her forget it a bit, though, and the one night last week she slept with me I noticed it in bed with us, but not in her mouth. We honestly could not find one a few nights ago, so we just never brought it up, and she has not, either. We have whispered about this with Leah, who has explained to Chloe that if she can get rid of that paci, she will buy her a treat.

While I cannot say there are any benefits to cancer, I can say we appreciate each and every sweet moment we have with both girls. Some of those moments include some funny comments from Leah:

Yesterday she was in the bathroom with the door shut. I thought she had gone upstairs, so I opened the bathroom door. She screamed and yelled about this for quite a while, and was still going on about it later that night. "Tina. You are breaking the bathroom rules. Don't you know? I need privacy. Arthur told D.W. this, too."

Leah happened to bring up when Chloe was born and how she was in my tummy. I asked if she remembered that, and she said she did. I told her that my tummy was big when she was in it, too. I have a hideous picture I had Chris take the morning we went to the hospital to have Leah. I dug it out and showed it to her. The look in her eyes was priceless-disbelief and shock. The best part is that she then starts in with, "My tummy was big when I had Bitty (her Bitty Baby), too. That was a couple years ago..."

I definitely am not looking forward to another Iowa City day. I guess we should be thankful there have not been many lately. Leah does not want to go, either, but happily stated that afterward we would be visiting Prairie Lights and Hu Hot. It seems that is her new favorite place, too. At this point I feel like these small treats are the least we can do after all the things she does not have a choice about enduring.

Yesterday I got the chance to visit with the Hunemillers at the Janesville Library. Sara is doing a booming business with her Love for Leah bracelets. She will soon have sold 500 of them. Vickie says that you can still email or call if you are interested in buying some. Leah is definitely noticing people who are wearing them and comments on this when she sees them.

I am happy both girls are sound asleep already....Leah was easy, but Chloe, who has been giving us fits, fell asleep on Leah's floor. I left her there for now, but may have to come up with a better plan.

Pray, pray, pray. For Leah to have courage in Iowa City, for her chemotherapy to work and her AFP to continue to decrease, and for her tumor to continue to shrink in size. The CT scan is two weeks from tomorrow. I have started to pray about this already.