September 6, 2006

Leah cuddles Reeve


Leah dancing


Chloe's olive snack




While our schedule (especially bedtime) needs some refining, we are adjusting quickly to life at our house with three children. So far Reeve's favorite activity is sleeping, so she is fairly easy to take care of. The girls are both great helpers as well. The one traumatic occurence is leaving Leah at school. She would love to stay home now since Mom and Reeve are there, so there have been some tears in the mornings as we say goodbye. I know she is fine as soon as she gets going, but it is still hard to go through each day. I have enjoyed walking her to school and taking Reeve in the Baby Bjorn and Chloe in the stroller. Then I drop Chloe off at daycare and come home- supposedly to get some rest. I have yet to take a nap despite my best intentions. However, I cannot report any other great projects I have completed, either.

Last night I took the girls to dance lessons at Kinetic Energy in Waverly. I had intended to start Leah in dance class last fall and procrastinated for a bit, and then she was diagnosed in November, so we never got started. They are in different classes, and both loved it. When we were there it was hard for me not to compare Leah to the other kids in her class. In some ways she is just like them-giggling, running around, but yet she seems so much older to me in so many ways. While I can no longer imagine what her life would have been like if she had not had cancer, I still cannot help being angry from time to time and wondering how this ever happened to us. Maybe it will always seem unbelievable.

For the most part we are enjoying very normal, happy days here at home. Even the addition of Reeve has been a relatively smooth transition-perhaps because of the year we spent in Iowa City and how hectic our lives were then. We have to go to Covenant next week to have Leah's port flushed so it does not clot. I mentioned this already this morning-just to prepare her a bit, and this was met by some real concern and tears. Leah has been so tough and uncomplaining during much of her treatment, but I know she has so enjoyed being normal and to return to have more people poking her just reminds us all that we are not normal yet. The whole procedure should take a minute or two and she has been through it many times, yet for some reason this was quite upsetting to her today. I did make Reeve's two week check-up for the same time, so Leah will get to be along for that and should enjoy that aspect of the day. And then we hope to be in Iowa City on Sept. 29 for a routine CT scan--that we pray for each day shows no new metastases and allows Leah to have her port removed--and also a very, very low AFP. We still are touched each day by people who remind us they continue to pray for us and for the people we still notice wearing their Love for Leah bracelets. Before cancer entered our lives I remember thinking that remission meant much more than it really does now that we are living with cancer in our lives. Leah still has a long road ahead of her and we are still in need of prayers each and every day.